When the silence is deafening

One thing I’ve noticed since becoming a parent is that when things turn eerily quiet, there is probably trouble. Maybe the child is writing on the wall with a crayon or trying to feed baby sister a cheese cracker. Something is usually up. Its funny how we notice the silence as if we have a “parent radar” for that sort of thing.

Another aspect of this, that really hits me, is when I am home alone. It can be completely quiet and it honestly hurts my ears. It is such an empty almost sad feeling that I notice instantly. You can just sense that your kids aren’t there and it doesn’t really feel right. I wouldn’t say it takes me to a panic mode but it does put me on high alert that a major part of what I care about in life, isn’t there. I almost wonder if part of the problem is feeling like if they aren’t there, I can’t possibly protect them if something goes down. I feel like that would be one of the biggest regrets if something bad happened and I wasn’t there to be that “daddy shield.”

This silence has been surrounding me the last couple days as the kids and momma are away for the weekend. I had to work a ton so it was much more practical for them to go stay with her parents and actually have some fun. It isn’t easy though. I don’t like the feeling of coming home to an empty house even though it gives me a little break, its not really what my mind has been on. The positive is that it really makes me appreciate my family even more and I get to see them soon so I’m getting excited.

Well that was deep huh? Not much humor in this one. I tend to get serious every once in awhile but I don’t let it last too long. I’m still a kid at heart and I try to bring that out in my writing. Thanks for reading!

-My5am